You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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