I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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