Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
