So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
