ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
