I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry about my life...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize