Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
