Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
