can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
