Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
