Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
