with your own penis?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize