you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
