So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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