Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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