her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
