You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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