do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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