yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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