She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
