yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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