Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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