ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
