I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
