David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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