She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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