we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
