I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
