One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's never too late to be topless.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
