i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
A+ Viking dick
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
