She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
