I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
