Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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