no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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