i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
