Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What a dumb baby whore.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
