Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
