I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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