So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
