Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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