I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
