so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
