Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
