You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
