Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
