Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
