When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
