Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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