we're blogging at a bar
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
