So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
