i was born a porn star she said
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
