That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
