And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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