If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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