I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize