Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
