so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
