If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
