break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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