i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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