I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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