Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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