she looked like the before picture.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
