she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
