Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize