McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The Olympian is in my bed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
