They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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