Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
