Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
