I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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